10 Best Rock Songs About Being Second Choice

# 10 – She Loves the Jerk – John Hiatt

The song “She Loves the Jerk,” from John Hiatt’s 1983 album Riding with the King, opens the list of the 10 Best Rock Songs About Being Second Choice. This emotionally charged track captures the painful reality of unrequited love, specifically from the perspective of someone watching a woman they care for remain committed to a partner who mistreats her. The song’s raw vulnerability is expressed in both the lyrics and Hiatt’s delivery, blending heartfelt emotion with Hiatt’s signature narrative songwriting. Produced by Ron Nagle and Scott Mathews on one side of the album, and Nick Lowe on the other, the song features a diverse sonic landscape that supports Hiatt’s powerful storytelling.

In “She Loves the Jerk,” Hiatt explores the frustration and heartache of being the second choice. The protagonist speaks with the woman on the phone as she tearfully confides in him about her husband’s behavior, and though it’s clear she would be better off with the singer, she remains devoted to the “no good so and so” she married. The singer longs for her affection, knowing she is wasting her time with someone unworthy, yet he is powerless to change her mind. The anguish of the narrator is palpable, as he painfully acknowledges that, despite her suffering, she will never leave her husband because “she loves the jerk.”

The lyrics of this song delve into the deep emotional conflicts of loyalty, love, and self-worth. Hiatt paints a vivid picture of a man who feels helpless as he watches the woman he loves endure a relationship with a man who doesn’t appreciate her. Phrases like “What I wouldn’t give for just one-tenth of what she gives Mister Charming” illustrate the profound sense of longing and hopelessness felt by the narrator, who knows he could treat her better but remains stuck in the background.

The song is a perfect fit for this list because it embodies the theme of being a second choice — someone who is fully aware of their place but remains hopeful, even though they know things may never change. As the first song on this list, it sets the tone for a theme that runs deep in rock music: the heartache of loving someone who loves someone else, especially when that person doesn’t deserve their love.

Read More: Top 10 John Hiatt Songs

# 9 – My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend Isn’t Me – Autograph

From Autograph’s 1984 debut album Sign In Please, “My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend Isn’t Me” dives into the emotional turbulence of being second choice in a romantic relationship. The song’s upbeat glam metal sound contrasts with its lyrics, which describe a man who finds himself entangled in a relationship where his girlfriend is emotionally attached to someone else. As a reflection of the heartbreak of being on the sidelines, this track fits perfectly within the theme of rock songs about being second choice. While the song wasn’t the band’s biggest hit—that honor goes to “Turn Up the Radio”—it remains a standout for its narrative and energy.

The song’s lyrics paint a picture of frustration and helplessness as the protagonist realizes that his girlfriend is more emotionally invested in someone else. Phrases like “My girlfriend’s boyfriend isn’t me” and “Her mind is stuck on ‘wait and see’” highlight the painful uncertainty that comes with being second best. The protagonist is left hoping that the situation is temporary, but he knows deep down that he’s not the one she’s truly devoted to. This emotional dichotomy is amplified by the lively instrumentation, which gives the song a sense of urgency.

Recorded over the course of just 30 days, Sign In Please marked a breakthrough for Autograph, particularly due to the unexpected success of Turn Up the Radio. The band worked with producer Neil Kernon to craft an album filled with high-energy rock tracks. “My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend Isn’t Me” is a prime example of how the album blended catchy hooks with lyrics that tap into complex emotions, especially themes of unreciprocated love and being second choice. The band’s ability to package this emotional depth in the form of a radio-friendly, fast-paced rock song has earned them a lasting spot in the glam metal canon.

Read More: Steve Plunkett of Autograph: The ClassicRockHistory.com Interview

# 8 – How Much I Feel – Ambrosia

Ambrosia’s 1978 hit “How Much I Feel” is a poignant ballad that explores the emotional pain of lost love and the complex feelings associated with being someone’s second choice. Written by David Pack, this track was the lead single from their third album Life Beyond L.A., and became one of the band’s most successful songs. The song peaked at number three on the Billboard Hot 100 and number two on the Cash Box Top 100, marking a major milestone in the band’s career.

The lyrics of “How Much I Feel” tell the story of a man reflecting on a past relationship and the lingering emotions that still impact him. The narrator’s current relationship is overshadowed by memories of his former lover, and he admits that sometimes, even in intimate moments with his wife, he still sees the face of his ex. This admission speaks directly to the theme of being second choice, as the protagonist is emotionally torn between his present and past loves. Lines like “Sometimes when we make love, I still see your face” capture the ongoing struggle between moving forward and being haunted by past attachments.

Much like John Hiatt’s “She Loves the Jerk” on this list, “How Much I Feel” delves into the pain of being sidelined emotionally, but while Hiatt’s track carries a raw frustration over unrequited feelings, Ambrosia’s song presents a more reflective, tender resignation. Both songs tap into the heartache of loving someone who is emotionally unavailable, yet the delivery is notably different—Hiatt’s song conveys a more narrative-based, conversational tone, whereas “How Much I Feel” is wrapped in the smooth, soft rock style that was a hallmark of late ’70s music.

Musically, How Much I Feel is driven by David Pack’s smooth vocals, intricate string arrangements, and a mellow rock production typical of Ambrosia’s blend of soft rock and progressive influences. This gentle, almost wistful musical arrangement contrasts with other songs on the list like Autograph’s “My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend Isn’t Me,” which presents the same theme but with a harder edge, reflecting the glam metal sound of the ’80s. While Ambrosia’s track leans into heartfelt tenderness, Autograph’s song delivers a more biting and sarcastic take on being second best. Both, however, capture the emotional complexities of realizing you’re not the first choice, but their stylistic approaches couldn’t be more different.

Ambrosia’s contribution to this list offers a reflective and introspective take on love lost and the bittersweet resignation of living in someone else’s shadow, making it a vital part of this exploration of rock songs about being second choice.

Read More: Top 10 Ambrosia Songs

# 7 –  Love The One You With – Stephen Stills

“Love the One You’re With” by Stephen Stills, released as the lead single from his 1970 self-titled debut album, stands as one of his most iconic tracks, peaking at number 14 on the Billboard Hot 100. The song was born from a simple but impactful phrase that Stills heard from musician Billy Preston: “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” Stills sought Preston’s permission to use the line and crafted a folk rock anthem around it, which became a defining moment of his solo career. The song’s upbeat rhythm and joyful vibe reflect its lighthearted message about finding happiness and love even in less-than-ideal circumstances.

Recording for “Love the One You’re With” took place in 1970 at Island Studios in London and Wally Heider’s Studio 3 in Los Angeles. Stills played a variety of instruments, including guitar and steel drums, showcasing his wide-ranging musical talent. He was joined by an impressive lineup of supporting musicians, including his Crosby, Stills & Nash bandmates David Crosby and Graham Nash on background vocals, as well as Rita Coolidge, Priscilla Jones, and John Sebastian. The vocal harmonies are a key element of the song’s infectious appeal, with the repeated “do do do” refrain enhancing the fun, carefree atmosphere. The steel drums, a standout part of the instrumental arrangement, lend the song a distinctive Caribbean feel, setting it apart from other rock songs of the era.

Lyrically, “Love the One You’re With” presents a somewhat unconventional view on love and relationships. Rather than dwelling on heartache or unrequited feelings, it suggests accepting the love available in the moment. This message fits perfectly with the free-spirited, open-minded ethos of the late 1960s and early 1970s counterculture. The chorus, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with,” encapsulates the song’s philosophy of finding joy and contentment where you can, instead of longing for something that isn’t there. The song’s relevance to this list is clear—it’s a rock anthem about being a second choice, yet making the best of the situation, much like John Hiatt’s “She Loves the Jerk” and Ambrosia’s “How Much I Feel,” which also explore themes of emotional compromise in relationships.

In comparison to other songs on this list, such as Autograph’s “My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend Isn’t Me,” which addresses jealousy and longing, Love the One You’re With takes a more philosophical approach to dealing with rejection or being sidelined emotionally. Stills’ song is less about bitterness and more about acceptance, reflecting the freewheeling, laid-back attitude of its era. Ultimately, “Love the One You’re With” is not only a classic in Stills’ catalog but also a definitive statement on making the most of what life and love offer, no matter the circumstances.

Read More: 10 Essential Stephen Stills Songs In Chronological Order

# 6 – Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad – Meat Loaf

“Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” is one of the most iconic power ballads from Meat Loaf’s legendary 1977 album Bat Out of Hell, composed by Jim Steinman. The song achieved significant commercial success, spending 23 weeks on the Billboard Hot 100 and peaking at number 11. Certified gold and later platinum, it remains one of Meat Loaf’s most beloved songs, second only to his massive hit “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That).” The song’s melancholic theme and theatrical delivery have made it an enduring classic, cementing its place in rock history.

The recording of Bat Out of Hell took place at Bearsville Studios in Woodstock, New York, with Todd Rundgren serving as producer. Steinman’s grandiose songwriting, combined with Rundgren’s rock production, created a unique blend of operatic rock. The song’s lush arrangement, characterized by sweeping piano lines, emotionally charged guitars, and Meat Loaf’s dramatic vocal performance, reflects Steinman’s signature bombastic style. The instrumental interplay and the cinematic progression in “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” helped define the larger-than-life sound that Bat Out of Hell became famous for.

Lyrically, “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” tells the story of a man who acknowledges that while he wants and needs his lover, he cannot offer her the love she craves. The chorus—“I want you, I need you, but there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you”—perfectly encapsulates the theme of settling for less than ideal, a central element in this article’s exploration of being second choice. The protagonist admits his emotional limitations, revealing a deeper wound of unrequited love for a woman from his past. This emotional complexity elevates the song beyond a simple ballad of rejection; it speaks to the human experience of longing and heartache.

In comparison to other songs on this list, like Stephen Stills’ “Love the One You’re With,” which encourages embracing present love, Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad explores the bittersweet acceptance of settling in a relationship, knowing full well it’s not enough. Both songs feature protagonists who acknowledge they cannot have it all, but where Stills’ message leans toward optimism, Meat Loaf’s story is one of resignation and emotional conflict. The tension between desire and the inability to love completely is echoed in John Hiatt’s “She Loves the Jerk,” which also explores the pain of being second choice in a relationship.

Ultimately, “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” remains a poignant exploration of emotional compromise and the inevitability of unfulfilled love. Its timeless appeal lies in its raw honesty and the grandeur of its musical arrangement, making it not only a classic song from Meat Loaf’s catalog but also one of rock’s best explorations of the complexities of relationships.

Read More: Top 10 Meat Loaf Songs

# 5 – When You Were Mine – Prince

“When You Were Mine,” written and performed by Prince, stands as one of the more emotionally complex tracks from his 1980 album Dirty Mind. While it wasn’t released as a standalone single, its promotional 12-inch release garnered attention, and the song has since gained a cult following, receiving prominent live performances and being covered by multiple artists. The song’s narrative portrays a character grappling with the emotional torment of loving someone who is now involved with another person, positioning it perfectly as a classic tale of being second choice. The blend of rock and pop, combined with Prince’s bold lyrical content, was groundbreaking for the time, particularly as it explored themes of sexual freedom and emotional vulnerability.

Recorded at his home studio and the Hollywood Sunset Sound Studios, “When You Were Mine” features Prince playing all the instruments, a common practice for him during this period of his career. The use of the Oberheim OB-X synthesizer to mimic a Farfisa organ gives the song a raw yet melodic feel, contributing to its timeless appeal. The song’s minimalist production, paired with Prince’s dynamic vocal delivery, allows the listener to focus on the emotional weight carried by the lyrics.

Lyrically, the song delves into the turmoil of being second choice, with lines like “I know that you’re going with another guy, I don’t care, ‘cause I love you, baby, that’s no lie,” conveying the protagonist’s helpless devotion despite being replaced. Prince’s narrative reflects a passive acceptance, as he admits he let his lover fool around and was even comfortable with the idea of sharing them. This notion of unconditional love despite betrayal aligns with other songs on this list, such as John Hiatt’s “She Loves the Jerk” and Stephen Stills’ “Love the One You’re With,” which similarly reflect the pain of loving someone who isn’t fully committed. However, while Hiatt’s and Stills’ songs offer resignation or advice, Prince’s “When You Were Mine” remains rooted in its melancholy, making it one of the most vulnerable explorations of this theme.

Notably, “When You Were Mine” was later covered by artists such as Cyndi Lauper, who gave the track a pop sheen for her debut album She’s So Unusual in 1984. However, Lauper’s cover, while popular, lacks the raw intensity and layered sexuality of Prince’s original version, which taps into deeper emotions. The song’s lyrical depth and unapologetic expression of complex feelings made it an essential track on Dirty Mind and a lasting piece of Prince’s storied legacy.

Read More: Complete List Of Prince Albums And Discography

# 4 – Lyin’ Eyes – The Eagles

“Lyin’ Eyes,” released in 1975 by The Eagles, is a quintessential song about deceit, longing, and the painful reality of settling for second best in love. Written by Don Henley and Glenn Frey, this track features Frey on lead vocals and tells the story of a woman trapped in a loveless marriage with an older, wealthy man. To escape the loneliness and emotional void, she seeks solace in the arms of a younger lover. The narrative paints a vivid picture of someone pretending to be content while constantly battling the heartache that comes with living a lie. The song’s poignant lyrics, combined with its country-rock arrangement, struck a chord with listeners, leading it to reach number two on the Billboard Hot 100 and number eight on the Billboard Country chart.

The song was recorded during the One of These Nights sessions at Criteria Studios in Miami and was produced by Bill Szymczyk. Musically, “Lyin’ Eyes” features signature Eagles harmonies, with Glenn Frey’s smooth vocal delivery and a laid-back country-rock instrumentation, led by acoustic guitars and a mellow, yet bittersweet, melody. The steel guitar further accentuates the song’s country influences, giving it a warm, folksy vibe that complements its narrative. The song won the band a Grammy Award for Best Pop Vocal Performance by a Duo, Group, or Chorus, further cementing their status as one of the leading bands of the 1970s.

Thematically, “Lyin’ Eyes” explores the complexity of relationships, the consequences of compromise, and the desire to find fulfillment elsewhere when love and happiness have become unattainable. The protagonist’s yearning for a more passionate connection, despite knowing she’s deceiving both herself and others, echoes the themes of many other songs on this list, like John Hiatt’s She Loves the Jerk and Prince’s When You Were Mine. All these songs share the common thread of unrequited love or second choice status, where individuals must grapple with the consequences of emotional decisions made out of fear, convenience, or necessity. As Frey and Henley croon, “You can’t hide your lyin’ eyes,” the listener is reminded of the futility of living in denial, a sentiment that resonates deeply across the timeless narrative of love and heartbreak.

Read More: The Eagles Best Song From Each Of Their Studio Albums

# 3 – Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover – Sophie B. Hawkins

“Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover” was the breakthrough single for Sophie B. Hawkins, released in March 1992 from her debut album Tongues and Tails. The song reached number five on the Billboard Hot 100, cementing Hawkins’ place in the early ’90s pop and rock scene. With its blend of sultry vocals, longing lyrics, and a distinctive rock/pop production, the song speaks to the intense desire of someone who yearns to be more than just a second choice. Its raw emotion and heartfelt yearning are palpable, creating a deeply relatable narrative of wanting someone who is already in another relationship.

Recorded with a mix of live instruments and synthesizers, the song showcases Hawkins’ talents as both a singer and songwriter. The track was produced in New York City with a polished yet edgy sound that resonated with listeners around the world. The evocative lyrics, “Damn, I wish I was your lover,” convey the desperation and passion of someone watching the person they love remain in an unsatisfying relationship. Hawkins’ delivery—bold, confident, and sensual—adds depth to the song’s narrative, making it stand out as one of the most memorable tracks of the era.

Critically, the song received praise for its unfiltered expression of desire and its memorable hook. The accompanying music video, which was initially banned by MTV for its erotic content, only added to the song’s notoriety, creating more intrigue around Hawkins as an artist. In comparison to other songs on this list, such as Lyin’ Eyes by The Eagles, where deceit and hidden feelings take center stage, Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover focuses on open, passionate longing. Both songs deal with the pain of being second in someone’s life, but Hawkins’ track stands out for its urgency and raw emotional intensity. The protagonist here isn’t just enduring being second choice—they’re fighting to change their position, adding a sense of empowerment to the narrative.

Read More: Top 10 Sophie B. Hawkins Songs

# 2 – I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bonnie Raitt

“I Can’t Make You Love Me” is one of Bonnie Raitt’s most iconic songs, released as part of her Luck of the Draw album in 1991. Written by Nashville songwriters Mike Reid and Allen Shamblin, the song explores the pain of unrequited love and the helplessness of being second choice in someone’s heart. Reaching the top 20 on the Billboard Hot 100 and the top 10 on the Adult Contemporary chart, the song stands as one of Raitt’s most commercially successful releases. Its haunting piano melody, played by Bruce Hornsby, complements the aching vulnerability in Raitt’s voice, creating an emotionally charged ballad about resignation and heartbreak.

The song was originally conceived as a fast-paced bluegrass number but was slowed down significantly to allow the emotional weight of the lyrics to shine through. This shift in tempo transformed the song into a powerful ballad that resonated with listeners across genres. The lyrics reveal a narrator coming to terms with the cold reality that no matter what they do, they cannot force love where it doesn’t exist: “I can’t make you love me, if you don’t.” The heartbreak and acceptance in the lyrics are intensified by Raitt’s tender yet devastating vocal performance.

Critically acclaimed, “I Can’t Make You Love Me” is often hailed as one of the greatest ballads in modern music history, receiving accolades from Rolling Stone and Mojo magazine. In terms of its place on this list of songs about being second choice, it stands out for its raw honesty and deep emotional expression. Where other songs like Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover by Sophie B. Hawkins convey a yearning for someone unavailable, Raitt’s ballad is about the painful acceptance of rejection. It captures the moment when love cannot be forced, no matter how much effort is given, making it a timeless anthem for those experiencing unreciprocated love.

Read More: Complete List Of Bonnie Raitt Albums And Discography

# 1 – Love Stinks – J. Geils Band

“Love Stinks” by J. Geils Band is a quintessential rock anthem of frustration, cynicism, and biting humor about the darker side of love. Written by Peter Wolf and Seth Justman, this 1980 track, which served as the title song for the Love Stinks album, marked a standout moment in the band’s career. The song reached number 38 on the Billboard Hot 100, and its raw energy and memorable chorus made it a staple of their live shows and a relatable anthem for anyone who has experienced the sour side of romance. The track offers a hard-hitting take on the futility of love, focusing on unrequited affection and the inevitable heartbreaks that follow.

Musically, Love Stinks combines elements of power metal and hard rock with its pounding riffs and snarling vocal delivery. The iconic riff, which Rolling Stone’s Rob Sheffield noted was later echoed by Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” gives the song its punchy, rebellious spirit. With Peter Wolf’s expressive vocals and Justman’s infectious keyboard work, the song captures the anger and frustration of being second choice in a relationship. The lyrics are unapologetically blunt: “You love her / But she loves him / And he loves somebody else,” immediately setting the tone of frustration. It’s a song that doesn’t sugarcoat the pain of love, making it resonate deeply with listeners who have lived through the experience of being sidelined in a relationship.

When compared to other songs on this list, Love Stinks stands out for its overt sarcasm and biting wit. Where Bonnie Raitt’s I Can’t Make You Love Me offers a heartfelt, somber reflection on unrequited love, J. Geils Band’s track serves as a cathartic release, fueled by anger and rebellion. Similarly, Prince’s When You Were Mine explores the pain of losing someone to another, but Love Stinks channels that pain into a powerful, almost celebratory declaration of love’s failures. It taps into a universal sentiment with lines like, “I’ve had the blues, the reds, and the pinks / One thing’s for sure: love stinks,” making it a raucous anthem for the heartbroken.

In closing this list of the best rock songs about being second choice, Love Stinks provides a perfect blend of humor, rock energy, and emotional rawness. While other songs on the list like Lyin’ Eyes by the Eagles or Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad by Meat Loaf offer more narrative depth and detailed stories of love’s failures, J. Geils Band strips it all down to the raw essence: sometimes, love just stinks. It’s an anthem of collective frustration that closes this list with the bold, loud truth about love’s more painful moments.

Read More: 10 J. Geils Band Songs Fans Love

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