In 2014, much-loved singer and actor Michael Des Barres sat down with AOR magazine to answer questions for the High Infidelities interview, a regular feature in which musicians answered questions of the kind not normally asked by music journalists. The answers (“I have no regrets. I’m Edith Piaf with a penis!”) may not be what you expect.
Michael Des Barres opens our conversation by claiming to have the Classic Rock logo tattooed on his left buttock. It’s an unexpected announcement, and one we can’t verify, but taking into account his dynamic personality (imagine a mash-up of David Coverdale, Stephen Fry and Germaine Greer), he might well be telling the truth.
His career has traced the twin showbiz peaks of music and acting, with considerable success in both. The serious rock’n’rolling began in 1972 when he put Silverhead together, before upping sticks and moving to LA to form Detective.
From there, the notches on his musical bedpost include being a co-founder of Chequered Past and taking over from Robert Palmer in the Power Station just days before they played the massive 1985 Live Aid show in Philadelphia. Today, he carves his own bluesy niche, and has recently released Hot N Sticky Live featuring eight sweaty tracks recorded at The Viper Room in West Hollywood.
Despite being something of a card, Michael is erudite and thoughtful, with a passion for photography and a commitment to sexual equality. He’s also extremely self-deprecating. “At a time when most people are walking around using frames, I seem to have had some kind of mad renaissance. It was my birthday last week,” he deadpans, in his sultry-posh tones. “I was 105!”
Have you ever been arrested or put in jail?
I was never arrested by the authorities but I was handcuffed and strip-searched by two young women at the Chateau Marmont in August of ’76, if that’s any help.
How many points do you have on your driver’s licence?
None. I have reached a level of tranquillity that prevents me from speeding.
Have you ever punched someone or been in a barroom brawl?
I haven’t punched anybody physically in many years. I was in the British boarding school system, and they are a bunch of hypocritical elitist fools who would never punch anybody in the face, but aim at the back of the head.
Have you ever drunk yourself unconscious?
Oh god yeah, from 1972 to 1981! It’s a big blur with isolated great moments, but it should be a blur, rock’n’roll is a blur. When it comes into focus it’s usually incredibly disappointing. I encourage blurs.
Have you ever used pre-recorded tapes on stage?
Absolutely not. Wouldn’t know how to.
Have you ever cheated at cards, or some other form of gambling?
Gambling in terms of horses and cards has never appealed to me. Gambling with my life has, and apparently I won!
Which of your own releases could be branded a ‘criminal record’?
I would never think that way. Everything I’ve done has been satisfying to me, and if I’m satisfied it makes no difference what anybody else would feel about it. The most important thing is that I enjoy what I do. I’ve never made any errors that I wince at, although there are things that have happened in my life that I wince at.
I once crashed a Rolling Stones session and was thrown out on my ass for begging Keith [Richards] if I could sing Jumpin’ Jack Flash. But I think one should be thrown out of recording sessions, especially a Rolling Stones session. It’s a badge of honour! Other people might wince at things I’ve done but I don’t give a fuck about that.
Do bad reviews send you into an apoplectic rage?
I’ve never done anything with a view to being loved and adored; I’ve done it because I loved to do it. If you get into the results of what you’re doing then you’re doomed, because if they love you, you don’t trust it, and if they loathe you, it confirms your lack of self-worth. Both things are Neanderthal responses. Reviews mean absolutely nothing to me.
Have you ever stolen anything?
Yes. I stole drugs. Drug addiction is a horrible thing. It removes you from the world and from your true self. It turns you into a craven creature that needs to suck the blood out of everyone around you in order to feed the beast that roars inside you and demands the food it needs to exist. I was that creature. I don’t regret being that creature, though, because it brought me to this place in my life where I consider every experience I’ve had beneficial in stripping away the bullshit and allowing me to be the me that is capable of love.
OFFICIAL VIDEO – Crackle and Hiss – Michael Des Barres & The Mistakes – YouTube 
What’s the most dangerous thing you’ve done?
The most dangerous thing I’ve ever done is assume an inauthentic self in order to get laid. In other words, when you need to be loved, the danger is that you turn yourself into what you think the person you’re aiming for wants you to be. You’re putting up a mask, and they fall in love with a mask – then the mask comes off at 3am and it’s not cool. That inauthenticity is dangerous, because it hurts people.
Which band or artist deserves to be marshalled out of town once and for all?
I don’t judge anyone. If people like Macklemore or Iggy or Beyoncé or Amanda Palmer, that’s their decision; it’s not my decision. When people say to me, “What are your influences?”, I’ll say, “Everybody who’s had the balls to plug in is my influence”. I will condemn no-one.
Do you mind being in a column named after an REO Speedwagon song?
Here’s what I love: I love Howlin’ Wolf, Muddy Waters, Lord Byron, Rudolph Valentino, Oscar Wilde and Iggy Pop. I listen and learn and watch them. REO Speedwagon is not in that group.
Wine, women and song – put them in your order of preference.
Woman, in the singular, then song, and then wheatgrass.
Do you have any rock’n’roll regrets?
I have no regrets. I’m Edith Piaf with a penis!
This feature originally appeared in Classic Rock Presents AOR issue 11, published in September 2014. Des Barres’ most recent album, It’s Only Rock N’ Roll, came out in 2024.